saving a marriage

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Things to Do in Saving a Marriage

Being in a relationship can be difficult and tricky since there are so many things that can happen – either bad or good. In saving a marriage , basically there are lots of things that can be done. Although the process may not be simple, the problem can be solved as long as both sides are determined and committed to go through all the difficult steps and paths. Don’t underestimate small changes as they can really change everything.

The first important step in saving a marriage is never to stonewall. Stonewalling means that either one or both sides don’t really want to meet, interact, talk, or discuss the issues. How can the problem be solved when you don’t want to even talk about it? How can you solve what’s going on when you don’t even know what went wrong? After all, stonewalling is childish and not a wise thing to do for grown up adults who want to solve problems maturely.

The second step is to show appreciation between spouses. It is quite common that people forget about the most important things for them when they are becoming so busy in their daily lives. Work, daily activities, and so many things can make the meaning of marriage becomes blurry or diminished. Such thing can happen to anyone, especially to those who have been in the marriage for such a long time. Sometimes, one side forgets how lucky he/she is with the partner and sadly, they just realize it when things have been too late. One side often takes a granted over the other, leaving one side feeling unworthy and underappreciated. Often times, saving a marriage within that point will be trickier than having repaired it on the very early stage.

Another way about saving a marriage is to fix on the communication. The lost of communication won’t be good for the relationship. How do you expect to keep on a healthy relationship when you have never spent quality time together, or you have never talked about even the smallest and the least important things that are happening in your life? Often times, a marriage is broken because people simply stop talking between each other. The couples involved aren’t open and honest about their feelings. The mistakes that people often do are thinking that their partners can read their mind. When they have problems, they hope that their partners will know about it and then try to fix the issues on their own. Often times, problems that are happening within the marriage are being left just like that without them ever talk or discuss it. If you really want to resolve your issues, start talking. Sit and talk with your partner about things that went south.

If things get intense and you feel that you can’t have a decent conversation, ask for help from professional communicator . He/she will act as intermediary side that helps you communicate your needs, wants, and complaints without quarrel. Asking for help from professional communicator should help resolving the issue, because you can at least be open and honest about things that have filled your chest all these long.

There are also some simple ways in saving a marriage that you can do together, such as:

• Spending time together. Despite your busy schedule, make time for quality and personal time. You don’t necessarily have to go on a date together. Simply turn off all your electronic devices and gadgets, and just sit and talk with your partner. Listen, talk, share, and be honest about everything – just the two of you. If you can make time for your work, why not making time for your spouse?

• Being flirty with your partner. After several years together, spouses often forget about things that can keep the flame alive. Have small reminders about how you love him/her. Write love letters again. Send him/her love or flirty messages. It should keep the sparks alive.

• Have a date together. Don’t plan a specific day or date. When you feel like it, ask your partner to go on a dinner with you. Or if you want to, go to a movie to watch the movies you like. You can also plan a certain date night, which can be a great way for your boring and plain relationship. But beware about having regular or monotonous date night because you can get tangled up in another routine that makes you bored.

• Remember why you love your partner. If you have to sit down and really ponder about the reasons why you love him/her from the first place, you may remember what keeps the sparks alive all these years. Think carefully whether such qualities are still etched in your memory and whether they are still important. It can help you determining whether the marriage is worth saving or not. And if you think that they are, work on it.

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